Saturday, July 24, 2021

100 Puns

I have been challenged to post 100 puns over 100 days. Can I do it?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

[Travel] Quick London things

This blog is dedicated to Kyle and Stacey

You have London in front of you, it's evening and you have 30 minutes to do something.


Here are some ideas.

1. The Eye at Sunset

2. A pint of Best in any decent Pub.

3. Make a call from London's first red phone box
Off Piccadilly in the courtyard arch of the Royal Academy. There is telephonic history. There is a sheltered red kiosk which was the first.

4. Ride the Tube, you could even visit Mornington Crescent.

5. Row on the Serpentine
Rent one of the boats (available from March to October) and have fun messing about on the oldest boating lake in the capital or read poetry to each other.

6. Museum Dip. Choose a Museum, set your alarm for 30 minutes, enter and be out before the alarm goes off. Much harder than it sounds.

7. Check out the city from the crest of Parliament Hill
Best visited at sunrise or sunset.

8. Tuck into pie and mash
Two pies, a mountain of mash and a lake of liquor for under a fiver.

9. Do the Monopoly pub crawl
That’s 26 pubs, in order. It would have to done over several nights.

10. Walk along the Embankment for 30 minutes.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

[Tech] A movie Company is born.

I have been playing with, and teaching myself, video editing.
Anyone suggest a good FREE editing package.

Windows Movie Maker is simple, and frustratingly restricted.
But it’s been fun learning and my Youtube account is growing.
You can find it here

So to celebrate, I’ve created OMMS Productions©,
Spielberg watch out :-) , NOT.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

[Politics\Humour] What does Nick Clegg stand for?

David Cameroon, whenever he enters the room.

A work collegue got me with this one today. Ouch.

Monday, May 24, 2010

[Poetry] A HayFever Sufferer

Billowing Pollen
Coughing, Blocked nose, Streaming eyes
A holiday ruined

[Politcs] My reaction to that coalition

After much soul searching I have compartmentalised my reaction into 3 sections.
1. The Public Good.
2. The Party Good.
3. My personal reaction.

1. The Public Good.
a. Unquestionably a good thing. The public gave no one party a majority so the logical conclusion is a coalition government.
b. The coalition should be a stable government provided the Tories don’t stab the Liberal Democrats in the back, or front, or side, etc.
c. The public want some Tory policies but not all of them (or at least didn’t want Labour ones) and with a coalition the worst excesses of Tory policies are mitigated by a good dose of Liberalism.
d. The public will see coalition government in action.

2. The Party Good.
a. The Liberal Democrats bang on about PR, which will possibly lead to a balanced parliament, which will possibly lead to a coalition government, so they now practice what they preach.
b. This is a killer for me. No party elected in third place, that supports the Governing party, survives for long in a non-proportional system. Witness the Australian Democrats and others around the world.
c. The party is throwing itself of the Tory grenade and, I fear, we won’t benefit. For example, I bet it’s left to Laws to give the bad news on where cuts will fall. [This was written before but published after today’s news]

3. My personal reaction.
a. This is nightmare for me; I have always seen the Labour Party as the competition and the Tories as the opposition.
b. I don’t trust the Tories to stab the Liberal Democrats in the back; I hope to God there are some honourable members of that Party so we will see.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

[Politcs] My shortest post.


Saturday, May 08, 2010

[Politics\Humour] Which MPs will make a pact now?

While walking down the street one day a "M.P" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a london gentleman club. In the distance is a restaurent and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians in his party.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of bridge and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time playing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think all our party would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in black bags as more rubbish falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,'stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.. Now there's just a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look miserable.
What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning...
Today you voted.'