Saturday, July 24, 2021

100 Puns

I have been challenged to post 100 puns over 100 days. Can I do it?

posted by Alan Window at 7:27 PM

3 Comments:

Blogger Alan Window said...

I don't like my hands, I always keep them at arm's length
23/6 - No. 1

Dot Dot Dot
Dash Dash Dash
I really regret doing that.
Remorse code.
24/6 - No. 2

IT Warning
How to identify spam/hoax email:
• If the email looks dodgy, it probably is.
• Be mindful of poor spelling and/or grandma
25/6 - No. 3

7:33 PM  
Blogger Alan Window said...

I got a gift at the door of the last Star Trek convention I went to.
They called it an Enter Prize.
26/6 No. 4

At least Hancock wasn’t lying when he said he was hard at work.
27/6 No. 5

Was Gina Coladangelo just Hopeless, according to our Prime Minister?
28/6 No. 6

Conjunctivitus dot com - A site for sore eyes.
29/6 No. 7

7:35 PM  
Blogger Alan Window said...

What do you call a lady covered in grass?
Lorna
30/6 No. 8

I lost a competition to put on sails on a boat.
I'm convinced it was rigged.
1/7 No. 9

If Exit Signs are always on the way out, why do we still have them?
2/7 No. 10

Cornwall has no capital?
False or Truro?
3/7 No. 11

Batman walked up to me and smashed a vase on my head.
He said "T'pow"
Still hurting, I said "Shouldn't that be Kapow"
He said "No, I've got china in my hand"
4/7 No. 12

I've just been offered a job working in a mine.
I turned it down.
It was beneath me.
5/7 No. 13

So I walked into the local haberdashery.
I was looking for a cheap frill.
6/7 No. 14

There was this really clumsy cleaner at school.
I really loved her.
She really swept me off my feet.
7/7 No. 15

I've been offered a position lecturing IT at the University of Leapfrog.
I jumped at the chance.
8/7 No. 16

Church Singing
It's an a-choired taste.
9/7 No. 17

I found something that is often overlooked.
A garden fence.
10/7 No. 18

I've studied a night-school class, l'm learning ceramics.
It's driving me potty.
11/7 No. 19

I can cut down a tree with a look.
It's True!
I saw it with my own eyes.
12/7 No. 20

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
My clock was a drunk
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
But I got it fixed
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
It went through Detox.
13/7 No. 21

I have a problem with my eyes.
If I close one, the other one opens.
I have problems at night.
I can't get a wink of sleep.
14/7 No. 22

I recently developed a fear of cattle
I'm a coward
15/7 No. 23

I decided to learn conjuring.
That should do the trick.
16/7 No. 24

I learnt a new astronomical fact.
Jupiter is the next big thing in astronomy.
17/7 No. 25

Called the local council to ask about their plans to prevent Dalek attack.
They said steps had been put in place.
18/7 No. 26

I loved the Harry Potter characters but.....
I just feel that character Nearly Headless Nick was a bit poorly executed.
19/7 No.27

Now the pubs are open, I was there until.
Last Order came, so I had a pint of gravel.
One for the road.
20/7 No.28

Today has been glorious.
I even went for an easy stroll through the local municipal gardens.
It was a walk in the park.
21/7 No. 29

Went around a local graveyard doing family history stuff.
Went down into a tomb but I couldn't read what was on the stones.
The writing was too cryptic.
22/7 No. 30

The other day I driving from London.
I was taking the M1 out of London
Sadiq Khan stopped me and said "Put it back"
23/7 No. 31

Last week I met the woman who invented crosswords.
I cant remember her name.
It was
P Something T Something Something R Something
24/7 No. 32

7:43 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home